Thread Number: 33544
1950s Washer Humor
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Post# 504662   3/16/2011 at 23:18 (4,782 days old) by Northwesty (Renton, WA)        

Hi gang, here is an article I came across in the June 1955 American Home magazine of mine (I have all the Better Homes and Gardens so I’m branching out) Some is a little over the top but I enjoyed it none-the-less, hope you do too. –Northwesty


Suds in Your IQ by Catherine Christopher

Let others aspire to the day when a home-model Electric Brain will be available. I can wait. The automatic washer we unwittingly allowed on the premises a few years ago is all the cerebral machinery I can cope with. That glistening appliance hailed so joyously as a symbol of triumph over drudgery, is taking a rather stiff psychological toll. I live with the sensation that our relationship-my washer’s and mine-is but an armed truce, that this mechanical Gargantua may one day break the bolts that bind him

These thoughts might have remained blissfully subliminal except for Mr. Krumfort, the man who installed our washer. During the 23 years he has worked with machines, Mr. Krumfort has acquired respect for THEM. He claims communion with them, and listens to the “beating of their hearts.” He is wont to refer to pulse instead of r.p.m. and he takes something from his tool kit that looks suspiciously like a stethoscope to me!

“Machines have souls,” says Mr. Krumfort, “they don’t like to work for people, and that’s a fact.” He deplores man’s persistent folly in making machines more efficient all the time, gives me the uneasy impression that they are just cat-and-mousing it with us human beings, and have already plotted an Industrial Revolution that will roll history back like a moving picture in reverse. Of course, come the Revolution, my washer will probably be carrying the oriflamme.

Ever since Mr. Krumfort got me off on the wrong foot, I have felt like a Simon Legree, a sweatshop operator, exploiting the motor hear and steel muscles and wire arteries of a brooding resentful slave. And subsequent evidences of malicious whimsy on the washer’s part seem to support Mr. Krumfort’s thesis.

A creature of moods, my washer goes to work in girlish merriment as the water gushes merrily in. Then comes the long, weary sigh just before the rinse cycle, and the reluctant shudder that precedes its hysterical spinnings. In the stretches, the water mumbles, whimpers and delivers incantations that sound like damnitall-damnitall-damnitall. Once it had a tantrum, jumped up and down like a basketball guard. How cunningly it contrived to keep between me and the switch!

Furthermore, I have to pamper its digestion. It can’t accommodate just any old soap the way my stupid but faithful agitator wringer washer did for 13 faithful, unquestioning years. This automatic personality requires water softener if I use soap, and will spit out detergents like a naughty child if I fail to measure the amount required with the exactitude of an uncertain mother preparing her baby’s first formula.

Once the washer clattered something fierce, and Mr. Krumfort found a bobby pin in its innards. You’d think I’d put ground glass in my husband’s meatloaf the way Mr. Krumfort went on! Another time, an offbeat clicking worried me and Mr. Krumfort came, all solicitude and reproachfulness. He gave the patient a few reassuring pokes with a screwdriver, then turned it on. It purred contentedly. Mr. Krumfort was sure I’d imagined the symptoms. “There seems to be nothing wrong with it now,” he opined, adding, “Maybe you make it nervous.”





Post# 504701 , Reply# 1   3/17/2011 at 06:05 (4,782 days old) by Tomturbomatic (Beltsville, MD)        
Thanks for sharing

Amazing that American Home, in the mid fifties, would allow the word "damnitall" to appear once, much less three times, in their publication. While American Home never had the "Index to Advertisers" feature that BH&G did, it was still a good source of appliance ads and pictures.

I treasure my collection of old shelter magazines also.


Post# 504736 , Reply# 2   3/17/2011 at 08:58 (4,781 days old) by vacbear58 (Sutton In Ashfield, East Midlands, UK)        
A request

vacbear58's profile picture
Thanks for copying out the text, I enjoyed reading it. But would you mind scanning the bit to the left about the Custom Bilt ranges too please.

Many thanks
Al


Post# 504740 , Reply# 3   3/17/2011 at 09:38 (4,781 days old) by alr2903 (TN)        

Some folks waited much longer than the 50's.  My Grandmother on a rural farm waited on "the county water line".  Her automatic SQ was delivered in 1970.  She depended on a cistern with an electric pump for 2 decades.  True to form she kept the SQ wringer machine "for rugs and heavy stuff".  After years of washboards and using wringer machines in a poorly heated shed, she took "care" of her automatic. It is largely forgotten what an awful job laundry  was.  My mother always had a washer and dryer.  When we got our first Kenmore dishwasher (1975), it seemed  like  a miracle.


Post# 504829 , Reply# 4   3/17/2011 at 17:58 (4,781 days old) by paulg (My sweet home... Chicago)        
1950's wash related joke

paulg's profile picture
My mother told me this one from the 1950s.

Q: Why did the woman take a box of DUZ to bed with her?
A: Because DUZ does EVERYTHING!

(Yeesh! Scandalous).

Another totally unrelated bawdy joke from Mom:

A hooker is in front of the judge..
The judge asks, "How much money did you bring in last week? "
The hooker replies " Four hundred dollars and ten cents.."
Judge: WHO gave you the TEN CENTS ???
Hooker: EVERYBODY!!!!!


Post# 504857 , Reply# 5   3/17/2011 at 20:15 (4,781 days old) by washerlover (The Big Island, Hawai’i)        

washerlover's profile picture
Yeah, my grandma stuck with her Montgomery Ward Signature wringer washing machine from 1966 until we moved her into an assisted living facility in 1990. She would have nothing to do with an automatic washer, let alone an automatic dryer!


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