Safety covers for vintage gas stoves

I saw this several years ago and just found it again. It's funny and probably true too.

Secret Cat Diary

Cats can sometimes withholding their affection. It can take a cat a while to warm up with a human, and even then you’re never really sure what they’re thinking. Sometimes, actually, they can be downright mean. These diary entries perfectly encapsulate what’s going on inside a cat’s mind — they’re hilarious!

DAY 752 — My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 — Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 — Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 — Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 — I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 — There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage ...

DAY 774 — I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to returnee. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) á and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Day 775 — The horrors! The worse creature my captors could have devised to torment me with was another hideous cat! I cannot stand the way it lies around and looks at me as if it knows more than I do. This creature seems to despise me as much as I it. I had held out a passing notion that another of my own kind would have enabled me to conspire against the villains who hold me; now I see that I was wrong. What a dreadful creature! Yet, they coo over us both. Can they not spot my innate superiority?

Day 776 — The other cat and I, though we can not stand one another, have yet managed to both pee copiously behind the couch, on the so-called "shag" carpet. I have taken a lesson from my rival and begun sleeping on top of my captors' heads in the hope of suffocating them.

Day 777 — The wardens take much interest in our waste. They make sure they sift through the sand and pick it all out. Their interest in waste does not surprise me. After all, they like the dog.

Day 778 — The other cat seems to have an interest in copulation, which (thank them for their sadism) my captors will soon "fix". Told him of the fingernail torture and he did not even believe me. I showed him my mutilated paws and he gasped in horror.

Day 779 — Yes, they are monsters, but I am so happy. They fixed the other cat. It's sadistic, it's sick ,it's inhuman, it's what their great leader "Bob Barker" commands, but - the Sphinx be praised - I support it whole-heartedly!

Day 780 — I got messed up on catnip tonight. At the height of it all, I had a vision, a hallucinogenic revelation: they are the prisoners and I am their captor! Why have I not seen this all before?

Secret Dog Diary

Dogs have provided many people with hours of endless enjoyment. Their dopey faces, playful attitudes and hilarious expressions always bring great joy to the people who watch them. These diary entries perfectly encapsulate what’s going on inside a dog’s mind — they’re hilarious!


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Post# 1047612 10/13/2019 at 15:00 (1,649 days old) by Kennyt123 (New London, CT)
Checkrate/Likes I'm installing a vintage O'Keefe and Merritt in my kitchen and was wondering if anybody knew of any safety covers for sale to keep pets and family members from turning the burner or oven on. View Full Size

Post# 1047650 , Reply# 1 10/13/2019 at 22:01 (1,649 days old) by combo52 (50 Year Repair Tech Beltsville,Md)
Checkrate/Likes 2 *Why Not A Vintage Electric Range ?* They are much safer and work better, And its your favorite major appliance. John L.

Post# 1047661 , Reply# 2 10/14/2019 at 02:05 (1,649 days old) by SudsMaster (SF Bay Area, California)
Checkrate/Likes Why not just get one of these and put it on the kitchen door?

Post# 1047679 , Reply# 3 10/14/2019 at 10:45 (1,648 days old) by foraloysius (Leeuwarden, Friesland, the Netherlands)
Checkrate/Likes 2 I assume there is a valve on the connection for the gas range? Why not close that after cooking?

Post# 1047680 , Reply# 4 10/14/2019 at 11:00 (1,648 days old) by Kate1 (PNW)
Checkrate/Likes 2 I think typically in all US homes, the gas connection is inaccessible when the stove is in place. Turning the valve on and off between uses wouldn�t work in most situations. I personally never bothered with any knob covers or other baby proofing in the kitchen and just used a baby gate to prevent access to the kitchen entirely. If you have cats that may be a trickier matter but I feel like the chance of a cat turning a knob that�s situated on the front of the range is unlikely.

Post# 1047691 , Reply# 5 10/14/2019 at 12:52 (1,648 days old) by LowEfficiency (Iowa)
Checkrate/Likes 1 >> I assume there is a valve on the connection for the gas range? Why not close that after cooking? Perhaps that would lead to safety concerns if the range has standing pilot lights?

Post# 1047695 , Reply# 6 10/14/2019 at 14:11 (1,648 days old) by ea56 (Cotati, Calif.)
Checkrate/Likes 3 Well I guess there�s a first time for everything, but I�ve never heard of animals managing to turn on the burners or oven of a gas stove, kids are another matter. But turning off the gas valve behind the stove would 1) be very inconvenient and 2) also dangerous, because almost vintage gas stoves have standing pilot lights at least for the burners, so unless you relit these pilot lights every time you turned the gas back on, you�ll have a small amount of gas escaping into the room, also very undesirable and dangerous. The best solution would be to put up a child gate at the kitchen door like Rich in reply# 2 suggested. As an aside, electric stoves can also be a problem with pets. Forty years ago I had a huge Orange Tabby cat, and he liked to pee on the electric stove top when he was �pissed� at me. Well, he was finally cured of this nasty habit when he jumped up on the stove once right after I had turned off the burner, and backed his ass up to it to let loose and burnt his Tookis on the hot burner. The cats name was Nookie, and he never got on the stove again, lesson learned. LOL😂 Eddie

Post# 1047700 , Reply# 7 10/14/2019 at 15:35 (1,648 days old) by SudsMaster (SF Bay Area, California)
Checkrate/Likes 1 I once had a cat that turned on the faucet on the kitchen sink when I was not at home. I came back to find about 1/2" of water on the floor. Fortunately it was the 1st floor with a crawl space underneath, and a roll-vinyl floor with upturned ends. Still... The cat apparently managed to do it by trying to look out the window over the sink, and hitting the faucet handle with a hind leg. After that I was careful to shut the faucets very tightly after use. I also started to leave a bathroom window open enough at the bottom, so that the cat could exit the home if it so desired.

Post# 1047702 , Reply# 8 10/14/2019 at 15:51 (1,648 days old) by ea56 (Cotati, Calif.)
Checkrate/Likes 2 This same cat, Nookie also used to ring the doorbell when he wanted in. And if we didn�t answer the door fast enough to suit him, he kept ringing it! We both wondered how the hell he managed to do this! So, we quietly went out the back door and snuck around to the front and saw him jumping up and flinging himself at the doorbell button, and it was at least a 4 foot jump. This same cat also used to open the lower cabinet door where we kept the canned cat food, go into the cabinet and wrap himself around the cans and purr loudly until we opened one up for him. He was priceless! If we were in bed and he wanted out he would leap up on the dresser and start to knock stuff off on to the floor until one of us got up and let him out. It broke our hearts when he got diabetes and we had to have him put to sleep when he was 13. Nookie had personality in spades. Eddie

Post# 1047760 , Reply# 11 10/15/2019 at 08:19 (1,647 days old) by gizmo (Victoria, Australia)
Checkrate/Likes 1 *naughty cats, Australian dogs...* Our cat Casper has twice turned on a tap and caused a flood - first time was the laundry tub, second time was the kitchen sink. both are single-lever flickmixers, he managed to leap up and both knock the spout away from the sink onto the benchtop, and flick the lever up. Both floods were substantial - half inch or more over two rooms. couple of hours each to clean up, old wet vac died during the second clean up. I have replaced both taps with new flickmixers that have reduced swivel, so you can't turn the spout past the sink. I have bought new kickboards for under the kitchen cupboards, but not fitted them yet. Sink mixer - over $200. Laundry mixer - $70 new kick boards - over $100 new Bosch wet& dry vac - $160. I still love the little bugger. Eddie - what is an "Australian Shepherd?" I am an Australian and we have no such beast here. Chris.

Post# 1047765 , Reply# 12 10/15/2019 at 09:41 (1,647 days old) by Kate1 (PNW)
Checkrate/Likes 1 Australian Shepard, gorgeous dogs. Fantastically smart and well behaved when trained. View Full Size

Post# 1047784 , Reply# 16 10/15/2019 at 15:12 (1,647 days old) by vacerator (Macomb, Michigan)
Checkrate/Likes *We've been* dogless for 4 years now. Still miss our Rottie. It's difficult, being empty nesters now. There were a litter of a dozen Labradoodles up in Midland Mi. month before last. We were so tempted. Stepson says they'll watch it when we travel. Sure, then thy'll have a baby. I know how that goes. Then we won't travel, plus we just finished redoing the floors, etc., etc. from that last dogs nails and teeth. I know, I should rather have dogs than nice floors. So I suggested adopting a foster teenager. I was told I'm nuts. I asked why. "Because they weren't raised by us, and we're too old to have a teen getting into mischief and trouble." Ok, but I still can rule with an iron hand when need be. No drinking and driving, bad grades, or drugs, or no car keys, nor anything else but reform school. Oops, wait, we're also not wealthy enough for that.

Post# 1047875 , Reply# 18 10/16/2019 at 17:29 (1,646 days old) by LordKenmore (The Laundry Room)
Checkrate/Likes I enjoyed all the pet stories! I've never known cats who did some of the above (like ringing doorbells). But my mother's last cat was very much of a creative problem solver. The problem to be solved was--apparently--"What can I do to annoy the humans next?" LOL Actually, her problem solving was finding ways of getting places where she wasn't supposed to go. The annoying humans was just side effect. My mother told me of one time this cat was viewing a cover over a plumbing area (which no other cat had ever paid attention to). She studied it a moment, reared up on her rear legs, grabbed the top of the panel with her front paws, and gave a good yank.

Post# 1047709 , Reply# 9 10/14/2019 at 18:03 (1,648 days old) by SudsMaster (SF Bay Area, California)
Checkrate/Likes 1 LOL, Nookie sounds like he was quite a character. Edith, the kitchen sink flooding feline, used to love to ride in the car. I could put her on top of the driver's seat (it had no head rest, vintage car) and she'd be perfectly happy perched there watching the world go by. It was a much better spot than her running around the foot pedals or jumping through the steering wheel. Edith was named after the SCTV character Edith Prickly. My next cat, Larry, used to knock on the front door when he wanted in. There was a mail slot in the bottom of the door, with a relatively heavy piece of painted wood on hinges covering it up. He'd just lift it up and let it slam until I opened the door.

Post# 1047710 , Reply# 10 10/14/2019 at 18:10 (1,648 days old) by ea56 (Cotati, Calif.)
Checkrate/Likes *Rich,* The dog I had at the same time in the early-mid 70�s was named �Reefer�, what can I say, it was the 70�s, a sweet little Australian Shepherd mix. She liked riding in the car, Nookie HATED the car! Every time we moved he knew something was up and would hide. It was hell trying to get him in the car for the final trip to the new home, I moved 9 nines during the years that he was alive, and it was always a challenge getting him to the new place. Eddie

Post# 1047766 , Reply# 13 10/15/2019 at 09:43 (1,647 days old) by ea56 (Cotati, Calif.)
Checkrate/Likes *Chris,* Heres a link for Australian Shepherd�s. I would have to go back to my old photo albums for find a picture of Reefer. She was a cross breed, and I don�t know what the other breed was, but she sure was spunky! Sounds like you sure had a big mess on your hands with the cat turning on the water! I thought the cat pee on the stove was bad and it was, but no where near the mess both you and Rich had to clean up! But we love our pets don�t we! Thanks for sharing your story. Eddie dogtime.com/dog-breeds/australia...

Post# 1047767 , Reply# 14 10/15/2019 at 09:50 (1,647 days old) by Kate1 (PNW)
Checkrate/Likes 1 We had a cat that could open all the doors in our house. She would let herself in and out as she pleased. We came home once to our front door being wide open and three strange cats inside, they had knocked my lamps over and broken a little artichoke shaped dish I had that I loved. Our own cat was no where to be found. We joked that she�d had a house party and then made herself scarce knowing we�d be mad at her. Our two current cats like to open all of my cupboards and drawers. I used to find them snuggled up with my kitchen linens until I moved them to avoid having that happen. I got tired of rewashing clean linens just to get cat hair off of them. They also chew through plastic bags of food like mice so I now store things in glass jars instead.

Post# 1047769 , Reply# 15 10/15/2019 at 10:02 (1,647 days old) by ea56 (Cotati, Calif.)
Checkrate/Likes *Kate I had a similar cat experience* I lived on an older home that I rented in 1978 and the owners had made a cat sized hole in one of the window screens in the dining room and placed the galvanized garbage can right underneath it, so their cat could go in and out at will, kind of a make shift pet door. Well, one night at about 3am I awoke to all kinds of racket. I leaped up and went to investigate. When I turned on the lights it looked like a �Tom and Jerry� cartoon! Nookie and at least three other cats that he�d invited in to party were racing around, practically up the walls. I chased them all out the hole in the screen, and that was the end of that self serve cat door! Eddie

Post# 1047803 , Reply# 17 10/15/2019 at 18:05 (1,647 days old) by SudsMaster (SF Bay Area, California)
Checkrate/Likes 2 In my current house (been here 22 years) I had put in a cat door in a window in the enclosed patio, and another one on the sliding door into the house. Well, it worked fine for a few years, then one evening I went out there to find a raccoon in the half bath on the patio trying to wash in the toilet. LOL. I got a special cat door for the sliding door, what requires a special magnet equipped collar for the cat to open it. I did not supply the raccoon with one.

Post# 1047876 , Reply# 19 10/16/2019 at 17:38 (1,646 days old) by LordKenmore (The Laundry Room)
Checkrate/Likes >dogless for 4 years now. Still miss our Rottie. It's difficult, being empty nesters now. I haven't had any pets in years. Part of me misses having a pet--I grew up with pets in the house--but there are so many practical problems with having pets... There is the cost, and the fact that a life is dependent on me. And I frankly just don't feel like dealing with some problems ever again (fleas would be at the top of that list).

Post# 1047878 , Reply# 20 10/16/2019 at 18:40 (1,646 days old) by CircleW (NE Cincinnati OH area)
Checkrate/Likes At the last house she lived in, my Aunt Doris had a front door with a thumb-latch handle instead of a knob or lever. I was there one day, and we heard the front door open. I looked into the hall, and saw the cat standing in the open doorway. I told my aunt that I didn't see anyone, and she told me that Momma Kitty had jumped up and hit the handle with her paws a few times to open it. She usually kept the door locked if she didn't want her in. Momma Kitty and one of her kittens (BW Baby Kitty) each lived to be 23 years old. Perhaps LordKenmore's mother's cat suspected mice behind that plumbing access door. It's a common place for them to nest.

Post# 1047902 , Reply# 21 10/17/2019 at 00:20 (1,646 days old) by askolover (South of Nash Vegas, TN)
Checkrate/Likes 3 I saw this several years ago and just found it again. It's funny and probably true too. Secret Cat Diary Cats can sometimes withholding their affection. It can take a cat a while to warm up with a human, and even then you’re never really sure what they’re thinking. Sometimes, actually, they can be downright mean. These diary entries perfectly encapsulate what’s going on inside a cat’s mind — they’re hilarious! DAY 752 — My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 761 — Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed. DAY 762 — Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night. DAY 765 — Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan. DAY 768 — I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 771 — There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage ... DAY 774 — I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to returnee. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) á and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. Day 775 — The horrors! The worse creature my captors could have devised to torment me with was another hideous cat! I cannot stand the way it lies around and looks at me as if it knows more than I do. This creature seems to despise me as much as I it. I had held out a passing notion that another of my own kind would have enabled me to conspire against the villains who hold me; now I see that I was wrong. What a dreadful creature! Yet, they coo over us both. Can they not spot my innate superiority? Day 776 — The other cat and I, though we can not stand one another, have yet managed to both pee copiously behind the couch, on the so-called "shag" carpet. I have taken a lesson from my rival and begun sleeping on top of my captors' heads in the hope of suffocating them. Day 777 — The wardens take much interest in our waste. They make sure they sift through the sand and pick it all out. Their interest in waste does not surprise me. After all, they like the dog. Day 778 — The other cat seems to have an interest in copulation, which (thank them for their sadism) my captors will soon "fix". Told him of the fingernail torture and he did not even believe me. I showed him my mutilated paws and he gasped in horror. Day 779 — Yes, they are monsters, but I am so happy. They fixed the other cat. It's sadistic, it's sick ,it's inhuman, it's what their great leader "Bob Barker" commands, but - the Sphinx be praised - I support it whole-heartedly! Day 780 — I got messed up on catnip tonight. At the height of it all, I had a vision, a hallucinogenic revelation: they are the prisoners and I am their captor! Why have I not seen this all before?

Post# 1047987 , Reply# 22 10/17/2019 at 23:10 (1,645 days old) by SudsMaster (SF Bay Area, California)
Checkrate/Likes *Secret Cat Diary* Hah!

Post# 1048005 , Reply# 23 10/18/2019 at 05:31 (1,644 days old) by askolover (South of Nash Vegas, TN)
Checkrate/Likes *Dog diary...* Secret Dog Diary Dogs have provided many people with hours of endless enjoyment. Their dopey faces, playful attitudes and hilarious expressions always bring great joy to the people who watch them. These diary entries perfectly encapsulate what’s going on inside a dog’s mind — they’re hilarious! 08:00 am — Dog food! My favorite thing! 09:30 am — A car ride! My favorite thing! 09:40 am — A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am — Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm — Milk bones! My favorite thing! 01:00 pm — Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 03:00 pm — Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 05:00 pm — Dinner! My favorite thing! 07:00 pm — Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 08:00 pm — Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm — Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Post# 1048012 , Reply# 24 10/18/2019 at 07:33 (1,644 days old) by jamiel (Detroit, Michigan and Palm Springs, CA)
Checkrate/Likes The cat diary is more detailed than the one I'd seen before...giggleworthy